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Monsters in America,
from Deep
Throat to James Watt to Christopher Cox
by Helen & Harry Highwater, Unknown News
June 7, 2005
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At 15, I got a failing grade and a three-day suspension from school for writing in an essay titled, “How can these monsters sleep at night?” The monsters were cops, narcs, judges, jailers, and propagandists, all the people who make their living off pot prohibition.
I don't have that essay any more, and it's been a lot of years since I was 15, but the monsters are still well-paid to lie about marijuana. On Monday, six of them decided that it's in keeping with our Constitution to arrest and imprison people who use marijuana as medicine.
For John Paul Stevens, the justice who wrote for the majority, we wish a long, lingering case of testicular cancer, with years of great pain and no relief. For the other "Justices" who signed on, we hope for glaucoma and blindness, AIDS and wasting away, and of course they'll have the moral rectitude to endure it all without the relief marijuana can provide.
A long, loud sigh. Of course, there will be no such justice. There almost never is. And prohibition will continue stealing who-knows how many lives. So it goes, year after year, decade after decade, generation after generation.
An entire industry thrives on “prevention” and “counseling” and “enforcement” and “rehabilitation” and “tough love” and all the other bullshit that brings cops, narcs, judges, jailers, and propagandists a reliable paycheck.
What's going on inside their minds, all these people for whom ruining someone's life is just another day on the job? A few of them are perhaps well-meaning but bamboozled, but nine out of ten must know damn well what almost everyone knows:
Marijuana is the safest recreational drug known to man. It's far safer than alcohol, less deadly than tobacco or religion, less dulling to the mind than prime time television. It has its downside like anything else, but used reasonably and responsibly it is pretty damn close to harmless.
Who would you rather have for your next door neighbor -- someone who gets drunk once or twice a week, or someone who unwinds with weed? Here's a hint: If you'd pick the drunk over the stoner, you're high on Partnership for a Drug-Free America commercials.
Again I ask the rhetorical question I asked in adolescence. Cops, narcs, judges, jailers, and propagandists: How can these monsters sleep at night? What's the malfunction in their consciences, that allows them to patriotically pledge allegiance to “liberty and justice for all,” while locking people away for growing a plant, or for lighting up the safer leaf instead of the deadlier one?
And what's the malfunction among Americans, that allows these monsters to exist out in the open? Why isn't there an outrage when police make a "marijuana bust"? Why do we listen to anti-pot crackpottery from so-called "experts" like the "Drug Czar," without laughing? Isn't it obvious when any of these anti-pot spokespeople speak, that they know nothing of what they're talking about? Half of these "experts" probably smoke pot in their own homes, and the other half clearly should.
It's all nonsensical. Silk-suited Congresscritters and Senators pose in front of flags and cameras mouthing platitudes about “freedom,” but they're the same elected officials who make sure pot remains punishable by prison. You wouldn't buy a hamburger where you knew the chef shat on the grill -- so why do Americans elect and re-elect candidates who stand foursquare against freedom?
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In my memory, James Watt was the prototype for the Republicans' "counter-nominations." Named to head the Department of Interior -- that's the department that overseas national parks and natural resources -- Watt did all he could to have federal lands developed and exploited.
Twenty-plus years later in the administration of George W. Bush, Watt-style "counter-nominations" are the only nominations. It's simply the way it's done: They find someone who isn't merely inept or uncaring, but who's actively hostile to an entire governmental department or mission ... and they put that person in charge of exactly the department or mission he despises.
Condileezza Rice did exemplary work lying the nation to a needless war, so she's now Secretary of State, overseeing U.S. foreign policy.
Alberto Gonzales found ways to excuse and recommend torture to the President, so he is now the nation's highest-ranking law enforcement official.
John Bolton has argued against the very existence of the United Nations, so he will soon be America's Ambassador to the United Nations.
On and on the list goes, not just through department heads, but through many assistants and sub-assistants.
And of course, any of Bush's judicial nominations -- not just the few you've heard about, but virtually all of them -- were picked because of their demonstrated hostility toward any citizen suing a corporation or government entity. If you have a legitimate grievance against a powerful corporation or the government, and you have to plead your case before a Bush-appointed judge, you won't have a prayer at justice.
And now, in the wake of Adelphia, Arthur Anderson, Enron, Global Crossing, Halliburton, Qwest, Tyco, WorldCom, and all the other unfolding corporate scandals, the new man named to run the Securities and Exchange Commission, Christopher Cox, has exactly the credentials you'd expect to run the agency that oversees the integrity of stocks, bonds, mutual funds, and other debt and equity securities: He's an outspoken advocate for looser accounting standards, and for immunity for corporations that lie to investors. He's a big fan of Ayn Rand, and he's been nicknamed "Cash Register Cox." Short of Ken Lay, he's the worst possible choice to run the SEC, so he gets the job.
Twenty-odd years ago, when James Watt was named Secretary of the Interior, the idea of putting a fox in charge of the henhouse was newsworthy. The media reported what Watt said and did, so he achieved his true potential as a punchline to hundreds of jokes. When he made a racist crack, the media reported it, and Watt was gone.
The difference between now and then is that now, there are dozens of men and women far worse than Watt, in positions of more importance than the Department of the Interior.
And the other difference is that twenty years ago, there were reporters reporting the news. Where are they now?
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Thirty years after Watergate, now we know who Deep Throat was. He was W. Mark Felt, a retired FBI executive previously noteworthy only for his role in CointelPro, spying on Americans for their political beliefs. A harmless-looking old man now, it's worth remembering that in his most vital years, Felt was a bastard to the core.
"Is he a hero?" seems to be the media's big raging debate of the week. If Jeff Dahmer saved your life between his murders, would he be a hero? Toward the end of a long career spent desecrating the Constitution, Felt played a small part in toppling a president who was clearly a criminal, probably delusional, and believed he was above the law.
And amusingly, it's exactly this one good deed in a scoundrel's life that has earned Felt the contempt of right-wingers like Robert Novak, Pat Buchanan, Henry Kissinger -- men who've spent their entire lives in the service of power and greed, without ever taking a moment to do a good deed.
Some things are not about left or right, Democrat or Republican, liberal or conservative, and this is one of those things. It's about right and wrong, on a grand scale:
Anyone who's still defending the Nixon administration from Watergate repercussions, is arguing for government beyond the rule of law.
And of course, the word for that is tyranny.
That's what scumbags like Novak, Buchanan, and Kissinger want. And of course, they're getting it with the Bush administration, yet they continue grumbling. Some people are never satisfied.
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I can't afford therapy, but boy do I need it. So as an affordable alternative, I've decided to start pounding my anger into a weekly column here.
Fair warning: My parents were repressed -- using any bad words would get my mouth washed out with soap, literally. I still remember the sickly flavor of DoveTM. So as an adult, vulgarity helps with the healing. If naughty language offends you, beat the rush and get offended now.
This page is for my own good, not yours, so you may not like it, but I don't care.
About the authors
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Helen and Harry Highwater have published Unknown News since 1997. We're a married couple sharing a byline à la Lennon and McCartney, and "I" can be either of us, or both of us. If you're consumed by curiosity, it's safe to assume the more boisterous and aggressive bits come from Helen, and anything ladylike or demure is probably Harry's work.
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By the way, we'd like a snappy title for this column, but we haven't thought of one yet. If you have a suggestion, please send it in (unknownnews @myway.com), and if we use your idea we'll send a couple of bumper stickers to say thanks.
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The FBI is on top of terrorism, with "150 pending investigations involving 35 agency field offices." And that sounds pretty impressive ... until you realize that these cases aren't terrorism at all.
This is your FBI at work, going after green activists -- animal rights vandals and eco-monkey-wrenchers -- and calling them "terrorists." But these bad guys have killed nobody, 'cuz they're not terrorists. They're vandals.
You know the difference between vandalism and terrorism. People who don't know the difference should not be wearing FBI badges.
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John Kerry was a naturally boring candidate with next-to-nothing to say, such an obvious loser from the git-go that I've long semi-seriously suspected he may have been chosen specifically to lose.
And this news and commentary from Bellaciao is so succinct and spot-on, I wish I'd written it.
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OK, our time is up. I don't know if this session was worthwhile for you, but I feel a little better. With a little luck I'll be able to make it through another week.
Peace on earth, freedom in America ... Yeah, as if either is ever going to happen ...
© by the authors.
What do you think?
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