Gather up your wife, the kids, and begin our whirlwind life-changing program.
In just thirty days, you too can be on the road to a whole new awareness of our world and a tangible knowledge of how the other three quarters of the world's population lives.
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fed up with the neverending
demands of commercialism
in America? Do you feel like
you just aren't getting any
personal attention from the
pastor of your local "big box
church?" Are you feeling
depressed? Could you use a
little change in your life?
Are you under some con-
siderable stress from worry-
ing about your job being
outsourced to India? Are you
more than a little concerned
that your pension funds have
been stolen by your
employer's board of direc-
tors? Are you feeling more
than annoyed that your
government has taken away
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your Social Security? Are you just a little sick and tired of making insurance payments on all of those high-end toys that lay about the yard needing gasoline? Could you be losing sleep worrying about your health? Is it way past time for that unexpected heart attack? Are you worrying about a pending stroke? Does the purchase of a brand new .45-automatic seem like a really good idea?
Well my friend, have we got the solution for you.
Try out the all new Lifestyles of the Destitute and Starving -- brand spanking and marvelously revolutionary new concept in living. Approved by three out of the four reputable 'think tanks' in Washington, D.C. Given the better seal of poorer living by the United Nations High Council on Poverty. Distinguished by the Nobel Peace People Concerned with a Sustainable Tomorrow. Winner of the Daschle and Delay Award for Deceptive Corruption in Government. Widely acclaimed by Brad Pitt, Sean Penn, and Sir Bob Geldof. Hailed in song and lyrics by U-2 and their front man Bono. Embraced wholeheartedly by Kofi Annan of the United Nations.
Gather up your wife, the kids, and begin our whirlwind life-changing program. In just thirty days, you too can be on the road to a whole new awareness of our world and a tangible knowledge of how the other three quarters of the world's population lives.
Take the Darfur Tour, and witness first-hand the thrilling sights and sounds of genocide as it is played out for real in the desert wilds of western Sudan. Experience for yourself the abject joys of wanton starvation. Feel the one-on-one love from one's fellow man. Hear the close-up sounds and feel the searing pain of bullets in flight. Know the warmth and sheer happiness that can be had as an entire village is burned to the ground.
Take the Palestine Apartheid Separation Tour. Live on the wrong side of an Israeli fence and mingle with the wonders of bulldozers in action. See how the big machines can level a home and farm in mere minutes. Watch as the Israeli Defense Force guns down innocent women and children. Taste the acrid smell of cordite as raging suicide bombers take out their frustrations on innocent Israeli men, women, and children. You'll be amazed at the sheer intensity of religious hatred as it plays out in West Bank cities and Gaza towns.
Take the Want-to-be Balkans in Iraq Tour, and live side-by-side with angry insurgent Iraqis. See how the amazing United States military can clear an entire town in minutes and then force the residents into illegal detention. Experience the utter pleasure of detention in one of the world-famous 'secret prisons' that are scattered throughout Iraq and the Near and Middle East. Know first-hand the sheer mind-numbing excitement of being hung by your wrists for a little torture compliments of the United States military. See the wonders of depleted uranium weapons. Know the excitement of cluster bombs. Watch as napalm munitions are dropped on innocent Iraqi women and children, and then it will be time for that old Iraqi style barbecue.
Take the Afghanistan-in-the-Can Tour, and live with ancient poverty, extended and renewed by hi-tech red-white-and-blue bombs from above. Understand the bemusement of local tribesmen as their 'bumper crop of opium' is confiscated by NATO troops for forwarding to Turkey and then on to Europe for the heroin trade. Join the growing sentiments of anger towards Kabul and the American-installed "puppet government" of Hamid Karzai. Share the thrilling resentments of Afghan people who live in constant wonder over where their money has disappeared to. Share the very real concerns of Afghan people as they wonder why the U.S. bombed their country into oblivion.
Take the See It, Feel It, and Taste It Tour. Share in the everyday knowledge experienced by our world's poor. Share in their wonder as the world's richest nations ignore their miserable living conditions. Share their pain as the children die from malnutrition. Share their wretched existence as natural resources that could very well improve their living conditions are plundered by the U.S. and the "civilized" nations. Share Their suffering as what passes for their water is nothing more than polluted sewer effluent. Share the diarrhea, the dehydration, the malaria, and the complete hopeless sense of abandonment.
Take the All-World Reality Check Tour, and come to know first-hand exactly why just about the entire world's population finds the 'western civilized' nations to be over-indulged and spoiled beyond the dreams of avarice. Experience the burning hatred directed at Americans. Taste the utter overwhelming sense of hopeless desperation, as known by the Third World. Share in their burning bewilderment as their very own governments take up 'western style' corruption. Know their searing pain as loved ones and friends are blown apart by American military actions that remain as mysterious to them as they are cruel. Share in their wonder at "precision munitions" that, somehow, aren't as precise as what the world is told by the Bush administration. Feel the frustrations as shock and awe becomes neighborhood reality, nothing more than complete destruction. Ponder along as the Third World considers the question, what have we done to Americans that they could hate and rain devastation on us? Why do they despise our religion? Why do they think themselves so superior? Why are we punished for not being born in America or Europe?
Yes my friends, Lifestyles of the Destitute and Starving will change your life forever. Lifestyles... will put your world and your miseries into a proper perspective. Lifestyles... will give you a whole new outlook on politics in America. Lifestyles... will give you a whole new appreciation for lying politicians and their damnable wars of preemption and genocide. Lifestyles... will help you to realize that the world is interconnected after all and Americans do not have the answers that are necessary to make effective change in our world. Lifestyles... will help you stop your petty whining and selfish indulgence, stand up and take some responsibility for your life, your neighborhood, your city, your state, your nation, and the misguided government that is reeking such havoc on the world.
Best of all my friends, all of this can be had for only $39.95, taxes and shipping included. Sorry, no checks, credit cards, or money orders. This is strictly a cash-only service, and plan on bringing Euros, because U.S. currency is just no longer stable enough.
© by the author.
What do you think?
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Recent articles by this author:
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Let’s stir up some controversy ...
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F. T. A.
by Don Nash
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