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The Anti-Pesto Popular Party
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by Don Nash, Unknown News
Oct. 24, 2006
I'm starting a new world order. That's right, a new world order and political party. The party will be called the Anti-Pesto Popular Party and our party's slogan will be, "Cheese, Gromit!" Maybe the slogan could be, "Gorgonzola not nukes!" How about, "Politicians should
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never be allowed to cut the cheese!"
Wanna join in a brand new world movement that could, possibly, have global consequence?
Now, I don't have permission from the creators of Wallace and Gromit for any of this and probably in the not to distant future there will be a world of
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legal woes that will have to be litigated. That being said, what the hell, I'll do it anyway. I am absolutely convinced that Wallace and Gromit wouldn't mind a wit. Wallace and Gromit would be our 'glorious leaders', the de facto heads of the Anti-Pesto Popular Party. I don't think they'll mind. Do you think they'll mind? Fools do rush in where wise men and lawyers fear to tread.
Wanna join in a brand new world movement that could possibly, have global consequence? Well here is what one might do --
The Anti-Pesto Popular Party would send blocks of cheese to world leaders and nations that could easily benefit from the care and concern of members of the A-PPP. Remembering that world politicians should never be allowed to "cut the cheese," A-PPP therefore becomes an apt acronym for the Party.
Application and membership for the Party is simple. Get to a store, preferably a cheese store, and buy a block of rank stinky cheese. It doesn't have to be a large
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block of rank stinky cheese, no it does not. Any old (and old is the prime directive here) block of cheese will work smartly.
Take the aforementioned block of rank, stinky cheese home and then, while holding one's nose, unwrap the stinking cheese, rewrap it, and then prepare the smelly prize for the post. For starters, send your cheese post to the diplomatic delegation of Sudan at the United Nations.
That is all that it takes to become a member in good standing of the A-PPP -- the cost of stinking cheese and the cost of postage to send your stinky cheese to the diplomatic delegation of Sudan. One is then a member in excellent standing with the A-PPP. See? It's as easy as that.
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All that cheese could easily benefit the poor buggers who are dying on a daily basis in the Darfur. There is also the benefit of the subliminal message that goes to the lords of the Sudan, proclaiming that the world thinks you stink!
This will also work aptly for Israel, the United Kingdom, the United States of America, Northern Ireland, Iceland (damn whale killing buffoons), Norway (the original inventors of stinking cheese and whale killing buffoons), Japan (whale killing buffoons), North Korea, and the Grand Republic of Texas. No, Texas doesn't kill whales, but Texas did give the world der Fuhrer George Boosh and that in and of itself is a crime against humanity.
And the United Nations is perfect for sending protest blocks of rank and stinky cheese, messages of disgust with world leaders, and the United Nations is your one stop convenience store for diplomatic foolery. Send rank and stinking cheese to the various delegations at the U.N. and that is all that any potential member of good standing in the A-PPP needs do.
Wanna join up with a brand new world movement that makes a powerful and stinky statement? Send that stinky cheese and be proud. For the price of some stinky cheese and postage, one can and will make a statement that will at once be difficult to ignore, a message as loud and rank as stinking cheese.
Please remember to unwrap any and all cheese before posting. Gives the cheese time to breath and work up a good funk.
Be a part of something larger than preemptive war and torture. Join the Anti-Pesto Popular Party and change the world, one block of cheese at a time.
Here are some addresses for the United Nations:
Permanent Representative of the Republic of the Sudan to the United Nations
655 Third Avenue, Suite 500-510, New York, NY 10017
Permanent Representative of Israel to the United Nations
800 Second Avenue, New York, NY 10017
Permanent Representative of the United Kingdom to the United Nations
One Dag Hammarskjöld Plaza, 885 Second Avenue, New York, NY 10017
Permanent Representative of the United States to the United Nations
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Application and membership for the Party is simple.
Get to a store, preferably a cheese store, and buy a block of rank stinky cheese.
It doesn't have to be a large block of rank stinky cheese, no it does not.
Any old (and old is the prime directive here) block of cheese will work smartly.
Take the aforementioned block of rank, stinky cheese home and then, while holding one's nose, unwrap the stinking cheese, rewrap it, and then prepare the smelly prize for the post.
For starters, send your cheese post to the diplomatic delegation of Sudan at the United Nations.
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799 United Nations Plaza, New York, NY 10017-3505
Permanent Representative of Ireland to the United Nations
One Dag Hammarskjöld Plaza, 885 Second Avenue, 19th Floor, New York, NY 10017
Permanent Representative of Japan to the United Nations
866 United Nations Plaza, 2nd Floor, New York, NY 10017
Permanent Representative of Norway to the United Nations
825 Third Avenue, 39th Floor, New York, NY 10022
That ought to work for starters. Have fun kids, and let's stink up the diplomatic world!
© by the author.
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