|
Shazam, tsunami, and happy new year
|
by HappySysiphus, Unknown News
Jan. 1, 2007
I, HappySysiphus, do hereby resolve that in the New
Year I will finally get it through my skull that Rock
n' Roll and The Nation State are dead concepts that
have no validity in or beyond the 21st century.
You see, I was in a rock band for 11 years; from
1991-2002.
It was the SAME BAND, mind you, the whole time,
migrating from my home town of 12,000 friendly people,
to Nashville, then New York, then Los Angeles. One
name
|
change, several rhythm sections. My dearest,
childhood friends were replaced with Los Angeles power
players that I related to as if they were 'the guys
from work.'
|
My 14-year-old girlfriend, and date to the first show,
became my most excellent and long-suffering wife.
Through the usual Hollywood meet-and-greet Channels
(Alcoholics Anonymous) my band, indirectly, came under
the wing of a HEAVY, HEAVY Rock n' Roll music
lawyer.
Representatives of the globe's TOP, and by that I mean
LITERALLY VERY TOP (IN FUCKING SALES) 10 (TEN)
|
|
record
labels came out TO OUR PRACTICE SPACE in Santa Monica, CA.
My wife and I were shopping for Ferraris and European
Castles on the Internet. I was walking around
surrounded by people who thought I was about to be
bigger than Star Wars.
Then the pain came.
The verdict, as was told to our lawyer in the hall,
was that we were "Too Good." As in, "This talent
exceeds our MAXIMUM STANDARDS for hiring Rock n' Roll
acts at this time."
Don't worry if it doesn't make sense to YOU; I, at
that point, went completely out of my fucking mind. I
wasn't upset, I was out of town, baby.
At one point I thought I was the King of England.
THAT WAS WHAT HAPPENED TO ME.
So that was the end of my music career...
half a decade ago.
I have thought a lot about that ride since those days.
I think sometimes that I have figured out what
happened to my music thing. I think maybe I know where
it all went wrong.
I used to think my timing was off, like trying to surf
and sucking at it; I caught the schlurp instead of the
wave.
But I have realized since then that it is a shitload
bigger than that.
My vantage point that day was the funeral of my career
and not just my career but my endeavor as a
phenomenon. Rock n' Roll Music and the skills of
creating it disappeared from the earth as viable,
marketable, modern survival skills.
The music business became an industry where the very
practitioners of the art themselves became the new
customers. Paying for "Exposure" "to build a buzz" for
their music when in fact they were like beggars paying
for advertising on their own begging cups.
Automatic singing machines meant "We can have any set
of tits we want up there! It'll be like the Chipmunks
only with meat puppets instead of a drawing."
All encompassing Suit Control. Executive Remote
Control of ALL MUSIC! Exactly the sort of thing they
could tell I wouldn't stand for, so why the fuck would
they help me get famous?
This shit had been brewing in music for a while but it
hit me and got real all at once. Right then.
I fell through to the next floor.
My ordeal was just the little part I saw of something
really, really big. Not just Rock n' Roll, not just
music, not just University Education, or Congress.
We are catching the schlurp of no less wave than the
death of the Nation State which was brought about by
the explosive decompression caused by the sudden
collapse of the closed system that was sealing the
world from market forces in Eastern Europe and most of
Asia.
The Soviet Empire was half the fucking world and half
its power. Overnight the government was gone and
markethood was on, and like bunnies in Australia,
Corporations found themselves with no natural
predators and a vast untapped market to exploit.
Shazam! Corporations, in addition to whatever
substantial power they already had, acquired an
additional 50% of the world's power!
Schluuuuurp! Tsunami!
It was at that very unfortunate moment that I entered
the field of honor with my electric guitar, to rock.
1991. Our enemy collapsed and with that began our slow
crumbling realization that the idea of government that
we have carried over from the past is no longer a
living concept.
Your representative is your supervisor at work. Your
country is your company. Learn how to be a good
Corporate Citizen.
We can throw you in the gulag without any trial. All we
have to do is fire you.
Schluuurrrrrpp!
The wall of water rises high, high above and just as
far below me. I see the armies of the excellent
prepare to be sucked in by the massive, gaping trough.
I am about to fall, and impossibly, from the wave's
high distant crest, I hear the voice of a solitary
billionaire scream "yeeeeAHHHHH HOOOOoooooooooo..."
I hope your enjoying yourself, dickhead.
© by the author.
|
|
We're usually unable to forward readers'
emails, but both readers and authors are
invited to visit our 'dialogue' page
for two-way communication: |
|
This is an archived Unknown News page. For newest material, visit our main page.
|
|
|
|
