| |
|
If'n they's not Christian, ain't we'ssupposed to be a killin' 'em?
by Cletus Cob
| July 30, 2007 |
What? G. Bush ain't a Christian? Are you sure? Did anyone bother to ask that Jesus H. Christ guy? Someone really should, you know. Wouldn't Jesus H. Christ "know" if'n G. Bush weren't no Christian or not? Old Jesus H. must surely know if'n G. Bush is or is he not.
Now, I'm fairly positive that G. Bush said somewhere or should that be sometime, that he was. Christian. So, if'n G. Bush says he's Christian and then does all those Christian things like renditions and detentions and tortures and war and that genocide killing stuff, don't we'uns supposed to take him at his word? G. Bush is the gol-durned president of America. Isn't he supposed to be the President?
Wait-a-minute-there ... it just hit me. Like a ton o' bricks. WHAT IF G. BUSH IS LYING?
Uh-oh, we'uns is in big trouble now. What if Bush has been lying all along? What if'n G. Bush isn't not a Christian Bible believin' sort of American? Do you know what that means? Well?
It means that G. Bush has been lying all along and everything he done told us is a lie. Uh-oh, we'uns is in some really deep shit now. What do we do? What will we do? What should we do?
Damn, don't that just beat all! The sum-bitch has been lying all along. Well that just takes the icing right off'un the cake. Shoot!
Now what's we going to do?
Cletus Cob
Gaza Strip, Utah/Nevada
|
|
|
|
by Cracker Copeland
My friend Cletus says that G. Bush isn't a Christian American. Is G. Bush an Israeli? Those Israeli Christians can be a little hard to distinguish from those America Christians.
Now, Cletus says that G. Bush is killing all those al-Qaeda guys cause they's Islams. Is that right what Cletus says? Cletus gets me all confused sometimes. I thought that G. Bush was a Christian American and now Cletus says that no, G. Bush is an Israeli American. Is there a difference between a America Christian and a Israeli Christian? I'm confused now. Where do Jews fit into all this confusion?
I thought Cletus said that America was "supposed" to be killing those al-Qaeda Islams on account of they's being Islams and the bad guys. Which is it?
Is America killing those al-Qaeda Islams because they's al-Qaeda or Islams or cause they's Iraqian? If'n they's not Christian, ain't we's supposed to be a killin' 'em? They's Islams right? Ain't Islams the same as al-Qaeda? G. Bush says that al-Qaeda Islams is the enemy we'uns is supposed to be a fearun. Isn't that what G. Bush says or said or somebody said that. I hurd it on the news.
I gots me a headache. Cletus gets all smart and just muddies up our arguing. So which is things supposed to be and are we still mad and hatun the Islams or are we supposed to be hatun the al-Qaedas AND the Iraqians?
|
|
Our front page is free from nudity and profanity, but interior pages and external links may not be safe for work, and you may be shocked, offended, or in trouble with your boss. A link doesn't imply that we agree with every sentence and every sentiment on every site we link to. We use our noggins, and suggest you use yours.
Anything sent to Unknown News may be published. If you don't want it published, say so plainly. Of course, we publish all incoming hate mail.
|
|
|
| |
We sell our own progressive bumper stickers:
pro-peace,
anti-Bush,
pro-freedom,
anti-Republican
stickers you won't
find anywhere else.
$3 each or two for $5
bumper stickers
|
|
| |
|
Unknown News is more fun and more informative with your participation, so please don't be shy. Consider yourself invited to speak your mind.
Because we respect peoples' privacy, we do not keep records of friends' and contributors' contact information. This means we can't forward private communications between readers and writers, but we always welcome dialogue for publication.
When we publish incoming emails, we usually edit out the sender's last name, email address, or anything else that would tend to uniquely identify the author (if we slip up, please let us know). But if your email is unambiguously intended only to annoy, insult, or threaten us, we'll publish all the details, and leave it on-line forever.
We're especially interested in hearing and considering different perspectives. All we ask is that you conduct yourself sanely and civilly. For the most productive dialogue, it helps if you'll cite a specific article or concept we've gotten wrong.
You can contact Helen & Harry at <newsuneed at yahoo.com>. If that address ever fails, our back-up email address is <unknownnews at inbox.com>.
But please, don't email us unless you're really and truly, honestly, actually trying to send the publishers of News a communication you're not sending to anyone or everyone else.
Please don't send attachments or other cr*p we don't want.
If you're trying to reach us but getting no reply, it's probably because you've sent us cr*p we don't want, so we're filtering your emails into the trash, unopened and unread.
If you'd like to have your email address unblocked, simply send a sincere apology (from an un-blocked email address).
| |
|
| |
