| |
|
The Devil's Political Dictionary
by Chris M., Unknown News
January 24, 2008
|
Conservative: Someone who wants to bring the country back to
the way they wish it was during
the 18th century.
Thinks witch-burning was a great idea.
Republican: Spoiled brat rich kids who went to the most expensive
private schools and learned nothing except how to cheat.
This makes them perfectly suited for the jobs of bankers,
lawyers, stock analysts, corporate CEOs and lobbyists.
Generally greedy, cold and lacking in any social
conscience.
Dixiecrat: Southerner that believes that Lee should never have
surrendered at Appomattox. That the KKK is a religious order
and therefor protected by the Constitution (only parts of
which they support.) They love guns and pickup trucks and
sometimes use them to shoot animals when not shooting
other things.
Liberal: An upper middle class white person who exhibits a
conscience when it is not personally inconvenient. Likes
Blacks, Asians, Latinos and other minorities so long as
|
|
|
they think, act, talk, dress and behave like upper middle
class white people.
Libertarian: People (usually small businessman) who want the
freedom to con and screw anyone they darn well please without any interference. Lacking in moral fiber.
Religious-Right: Protestant Christians who firmly believe they
have a "get out of jail free" card that can only be redeemed
in a Zionist Jerusalem. They believe that anything that might
be fun or pleasurable is set down in the Bible as a sin.
Which of course they themselves can engage in since they have
a "get out of jail free" card.
Progressive: Just a little further to the left of the Liberals but
not by much. Get righteously indignant about the behavior
of Conservatives, Republicans, the Religious-Right and
Libertarians, all of whom they wish they could emulate to some
degree or another. Live in nearly all-white gated communities
and will go on protest marches as long as there is some
assurance they won't get arrested. After which they return to
their nearly all-white gated communities and watch PBS.
Green: An environmentalist with a large enough bank account that
they can spend time sitting in trees. They want the world to
go back to the way it was just after the dinosaurs became
extinct. They will drive 20 miles in an environmentally
friendly car to get their groceries from a health food store
passing countless farmers food stands because the food stands
might not be selling organic produce. Often found living in
an energy independent, environmentally friendly and efficient
cabin out in the middle of nowhere, that costs the combined
net worth of several small countries to build and maintain.
Firmly believes that everyone should live like that, and
cannot understand why they don't.
© by the author.
| | We're usually unable to forward readers'
emails, but both readers and authors are
invited to visit our 'dialogue' page
for two-way communication: |
| |
This is an archived Unknown News page. For newest material, visit our main page.
|
|
|
|
